Brian Doerksen on fatherhood
by Doris Fleck

When Brian Doerksen’s first son was born, he thought it was a dream come true.

The award-winning songwriter and worship leader from Abbotsford, BC admitted, "All of my life I dreamed about having sons that I could interact with, just like my Dad and I interact."

After he and his wife had two girls, they had a boy, Benjamin. But Doerksen’s hopes of having deep discussions with his son were dashed when he discovered Ben was born with Fragile X syndrome.

This genetic condition can cause a wide-range of mental impairment from moderate autism and learning disabilities to severe cognitive or intellectual disabilities.

Abbotsford’s Brian Doerksen with his family. — photo courtesy Fazal Karim, The Christian Herald

In a deeply personal seminar at Break Forth Canada this past January, Doerksen explained, "I can’t communicate with my son. Ben cannot talk and will never be able to move out or get a job."

The Doerksens found out about Ben’s condition shortly after their twin girls were born. The risk of having another son with Fragile X syndrome was high. But even though doctors were telling them to stop having children, the Doerksen’s felt God telling them, "Have another child. I’m going to give you a son and he won’t be affected by this syndrome."

So they fasted and prayed. For a whole year they waited, soaking in the prayer from many friends. Then they took a step of faith.
 Doerksen remembers the exact moment his wife gave birth to their second son, Isaiah. He also remembers every detail of the day, about a year later, when he found out Isaiah also had Fragile X. It was the day he handed in his resignation to God.

Trying to deal with an overwhelming sense of disappointment, Doerksen said he told God, "I quit. I’m not quitting relationship with You, but I’m quitting this whole teaching, worship leader thing. It’s too vulnerable. It takes too much to reveal my heart. I’m just going to have a quiet life and be a good dad to my boys."

Now Doerksen is grateful God didn’t accept his resignation as he has ministered to people who are grieving through his worship songs.

He has also seen how important the relationship between his two boys has become.

"Isaiah is a gift to his brother Ben," Doerksen said. "Maybe I wanted my son for myself and God wanted to give him as a gift to someone else."

Doerksen encouraged Christians to bring their troubles and grief before God in His House through worship.

"Wouldn’t that kill you, fathers, if your children never brought you their pain?" Doerksen asked. "We need to bring all of life to The Father."